PATIENCE

I am having a hard day today. It feels as though I will never get to see a picture of our baby. No news on packages today. Hope to hear something soon. Still hopefull that we will receive our referral next Thursday or Friday. Below is a poem that I keep on my frig to keep me going. Colette


Patience is a hard discipline. It is not just waiting until something happens over which we have no control: the arrival of the bus, the end of the rain, the return of a friend, the resolution of a conflict.

Patience is not waiting passively until someone else does something.

Patience asks us to live the moment to the fullest, to be completely present to the moment, to taste the here and now, to be where we are.

When we are impatient, we try to get away from where we are.

We behave as if the real thing will happen tomorrow, later, and somewhere else.

Let's be patient and trust that the treasure we look for is hidden in the ground on which we stand."

--Henri J.M. Nouwen

Christmas Morning

Here is Megan after opening some of her presents!

Christmas With The Walker's

We celebrated Christmas with Bob's family. Bob's mom (Earlene), his brother (Todd), Bob's dad (Larry) and his wife (Diana). Bob made turkey, dressing, potatoes & gravy, pie, etc.... YUMMY!

Christmas Caroling

Megan is in Honor Choir. Friday they went to the airport and a hospital singing Christmas carols. Megan had a small solo and did wonderful!!

HAPPY BIRTHDAY MEGAN!

Megan celebrated her 11th birthday bowling with her girl friends! The cake was an ice cream cake, yummy! Meg received lots of nice presents from her friends! It was a fun day!

December 14th 1995

11 years ago today I gave birth to a beautiful baby girl, we named her Megan Julianne.

HAPPY 11th BIRTHDAY MEGAN!

I can't believe you are 11 today! You will be a great big sister!

Love, Mommy

PATIENCE

This means patience in Chinese, something I am needing a lot of these days!

Even though it is December and there are so many things to get done, the days seem to crawl by. It seems like it will be forever before we get our referral. PATIENCE! Can you see me chanting "patience, patience, patience"?!?!?

Christmas Cookies

Happy Holidays from Tulsa!

Megan and her friend (Natalie) made sugar Christmas cookies tonight. Fun was had by all.

Colette

100 Wishes Quilt

It's done! YEA! After collecting all 100 squares & cutting them, I turned my squares over to my friends (Debbie & Olivia). The two of them put in many, many hours sewing all of the squares together and then sewing the back fabric to the squares.

THANK YOU DEBBIE & OLIVIA (pictured above). Without you two this could have never been done.

Also, I want to thank all of you who sent a square. Our child will have this quilt to remind her how much she was loved even before she was brought to America!

Colette

Kansas City!

This was taken while I was in K.C. with my college friends. Tom, Mark, Rose, Vonnes, and me.
We call the 2 Susan's by their last names. This pic was taken in an Irish Pub down in the plaza.

We had a wonderful time catching up with one another. Tom is the only one of us that still lives in Nebraska. Mark lives in Chicago, Vonnes lives in Phoenix and our host lives in K.C. The last time we were together was in Phoenix 4 years ago. We try to get together every few years, but it had been 7 years since all 5 of us were together. We hope to all get together in 2008!

Colette

Megan riding a horse!

Wanted to post a picture of Megan. She is 10 and will be 11 next week.

This picture was taken in October on our Girl Scout camping trip. I even rode a horse!

Referrals.... we didn't make it.

"The CCAA has finished the placement of children for the families whose adoption application documents were LID through September 8, 2005."

Well, I am bummed that we didn't make it, but not surpised. Our LID is September 13th so we will be in the next batch for sure. The referrals should come the first week in January. Then we will travel to China 2 months latter. So, we should be in China the first of March.

Colette

This is a picture of my mom and sisters (Julie & Ann).

Childhood Home

This is a picture of the house I grew up in. My Mom moved last spring to a smaller ranch style house. This week she closed on the sale of my childhood home. I have such fond memories growing up in this home. I was 6 years old when we moved to this home. My sister (Ann) and I thought we had moved to a mansion. It wasn't a mansion, but compared to our small home that we had moved from, we were "moving on up".

The home was filled with lots of family and friends. My dad had the office of his company in the house, so there were always employees and customers coming in and out.

The home had a laundry shoot and 2 stairways going up to the second floor... this gave us many hours of play. I'm sure my dear friend (Susan) remembers this!?!

I am so glad that Megan will have these memories. Yet, I'm sad for our baby girl in China that she will never know the home her mommy grew up in.

What comes to my mind most when I think of this house, the place I called home.... is LOVE.

Colette

Homestudy Update.... Finally

We started all of the paperwork for a homestudy update back in August. Then Terri the social worker came out to the house October 11th. And, finally I got the homestudy update in my hand November 8th. Everything takes so long in the adoption world. UGH!

Yesterday I mailed off the 1-600A to get re-fingerprinted and a new I-171 (I coudn't do this till I had the homestudy update) . I wrote a letter in there explaining the rush (our old one expires in December) and there is a possibility of us traveling the end of January. Hopefully they will let us get finger-printed soon. We have to drive all the way to OK City (2 hours away plus toll-roads) to get fingerprinted.

I haven't been sleeping well. Now that this is done maybe I'll be able to. Probably not, I have a feeling this might be the norm till I get the referral.

Colette

Saturday

I'm going to try and post my feelings on a daily bases. So, be prepared to be bored. HAHA

I am starting to get excited for our baby. I CAN'T WAIT!!!! I want my referral. Hopefully in a month. But, we are riding the fence on this one. We might miss the cut off and not get a referral for 2 months. But as my good friend (Susan) said... at least you will get it in 2 months. And, she is right, we are getting close. I can see the end of the rainbow.

Today is a Saturday and we have been watching the Huskers play football. YEA , they won! We are off to get a bite to eat then home to watch the Sooners play. GO SOONERS!

Colette

Nephew's Wedding

We were back in Nebraska for Mike & Erica's wedding. Congratulations to the happy couple!

Referrals

The CCAA has finished the placement of children for the families whose adoption application documents were registered between August 10 and August 25, 2005.

Ours were registered September 13, 2005. Hopefully we will get our referral in a month. If not the next month. We're getting closer

Colette

NEBRASKA

Colette & Megan watched Colette's nephew, Kyle play football while back in Nebraska.

Process of getting a baby ready for matching

When a child is abandoned they must be taken to the police station.

1) The police report must be written up
2) The abandonment documentation must be prepared
3) For three months they try to find the birth family through finding ads
4) A birth certificate must be drawn up
5) A medical report must be completed
6) The orphanage must also prepare the daily schedule and developmental report for each child

All of this must take place before the baby is "paper ready" for adoption. Then they are matched with adopting parents. This is why the babies are 8 months and older before they are matched.

My wish for our baby.

I wish you always:
Happiness to fill your heart,
Wisdom to fill your mind,
And confidence in faith to fill your spirit.
May you live your life being your true, authentic self.

author unknown

(I found this quote and loved it)
Colette

My thoughts.....

I'm starting to get excited about the adoption! It has been over a year since our paperwork got logged in. I never would have thought we would still be waiting a year latter to get our referral. Anyway, things are getting closer. There are only 5 weeks aheadof us.

I actually bought a couple of out-fits. I didn't know what size to buy, I think I bought 18 months. I began to work on the baby's room. The room is Megan's old room. The walls are yellow and there are pictures in blue frames on the walls. My friend, Kelli gave me "Hey, Diddle Diddle" bedding for the crib.

Last Saturday my friends, Debbie & Olivia came over and sewed the 100 quilt squares together. "Thank you ladies, I appreciate all your hard work. " I have been putting all of the Warm Wishes everyone sent me in a scrapbook. This baby is so lucky to have all of you in her life. She is already so blessed and doesn't even know it.

The way things have gone lately with referrals, I'm hoping we will get our referral the end of November and travel the end of January. YEA, it is getting closer

Colette

Referrals

This was posted on the CCAA web-site:

"The CCAA has finished the placement of children for the families whose adoption application documents were logged in with our office before August 9, 2005."

This means the CCAA has mailed out referrals for the July 23, 2005 through August 9, 2005 log in dates.

Our LID is 9/13/05. So, there are 35 days until our LID. We're getting closer!

Fishing in Nebraska!

Megan and Daddy after a successful day of fishing! Uncle Steve had something to do with this too!!

Relaxing....

This was taken this summer in Nebraska. It was a hot, hot day and we were cooling off in the water! We were back in Nebraska for a week visiting Colette's family. In the picture is Bob, Colette, Megan, & Colette's brother Steve!

Referrals

"The CCAA has finished the placement of children for the families whose adoption application documents were registered with our office between July 14 and July 22, 2005." (this was posted on the CCAA web-site)

This is disapointing that they only did 9 days. I hope things pick up. The CCAA office moved a month ago, so I am hoping they will hire more people to help speed up the amount of referrals they send out. Our LID (log in date) is 9/13/05. This means people with LID's from July 23 - September 12 are ahead of us. When we started the adoption process they use to process one whole months worth of LID's each month. That's why we were told when we started the wait time of referral was 6 months after LID. Since January of this year they have slowed down by only referring a few weeks to only one week each month.

So, if they go back to processing a month at a time. We could get our referral as soon as the end of October.... which I really doubt.... but it is possible. My guess is we will get our referral in December and travel in February. I hate to even guess anymore. Only time will tell.

Colette

Things to know about China and the adoption process.

Size

China is made up of 1.2 billion people, the largest population in the world, one fifth of the total. Every year the country adds another 12 million. However china has only 7% of the worlds arable land and fresh water, 3% of the forests, and only 2% of the oil. And although China's landmass is roughly the same size as the United States, it has 4.5 times the population. In addition, China's enormous population is unevenly distributed with 94% living in the southeastern part of the country. (In the U.S. this distribution would translate to nearly 1 billion people living east of the Mississippi River).

What is the One Child Policy

In 1979, China implemented a "one child policy" in an effort to control population growth. Under this program, a sophisticated system rewarded those who observed the policy and penalized those who did not. Couples with only one child were given a "one child certificate" entitling them to such benefits as cash bonuses, longer maternity leave, better childcare, and preferential housing assignments. In return they were required to pledge they would not have more children. The penalties for having more than one child are severe if discovered and can consist of being fined a years wages, the loss of their job, imprisonment and social ostracism. Forced abortion and sterilization have been a common practice to eliminate unwanted pregnancies or a baby girl.

Why so many Girls?

We have been told that 95% of babies adopted from China are girls. Why are there so many little girls? China is primarly an agricultural country. These people work and they work hard, for little pay. Therefore there is a need for men and boys. Cultural practice also plays in on this. Sons stay home and take care of aging parents and carry on the family name and farm. As a chinese girl grows up and marries, she leaves to move in with her husband and his family.

What do they do with their babies?

For most of China, it is illegal to give birth to a second child. It is also illegal to abandon a child. I have wondered if these mothers are hoping for 9 months that this will be a boy, or that by some miracle the law will change and they will be able to keep their child regardless. When the baby is born they are forced to abandon their child anonymously. Birthmothers normally leave their baby girls in a place they know she will be found and taken care of, like a busy public market, or on the steps of the orphanage. Sometimes maybe a note will be left with her birthdate. Most of the time there is nothing of her past. She will be taken into the orphanage, they will determine how old they think she might be and they will name her.

Health of Children

From everything we have read, most of the chinese babies are very healthy. Since most of the mothers live on rural farms, they are not exposed to drugs and alcohol. Most of the children are raised in an orphange although there are a small percent in foster homes. We do expect that our baby might be developmentally behind from lack of stimulation, but have no doubt that she will catch up quickly once she is surrounded in love with one on one attention.

Meeting our Baby

Once we receive our referral, we will give our acceptance and then we will travel to China about 8 weeks later. We will be gone for about 2 weeks. There is a chance of 3 weeks if we get one particular orphange. We will first fly to Beijing for some sightseeing. About 2 or 3 days later we will travel to meet our baby near her orphanage. We will finish some paperwork there and then fly to Guangzhou which is where the US Consulate is. More paperwork, medical exams, application for her visa, passport etc... We understand when we first meet our daughter that it may not go as smoothly as we hope. She is going to be with strange people, who look different and sound different than what she is use to. When we return home, we realize that there is going to be big adjustments for our baby. We have read that many of the babies might have problems with bonding, and we are prepared to deal with whatever comes our way. One complaint I hear often from adoptive parents is that people often ask, in front of their children, "what did their real mom look like?" People need to realize that we are her real family and will always be. Our belief is that God planned for her to be our daughter all along, he just wanted her to come from someone else's stomach. To us she is already a part of our family, our daughter.

"Love without Boundaries"

This is a letter from Amy Eldrige on her view on disrupting an adoption. I felt this was a great way to share with family and friends who might think that adopting an institutionalized child is the same as having a biological child.

I have been so saddened by this situation. I most definitely wish there was a way to educate ALL adoptive parents about the truths of institutional care, however I have come to realize in my daily work that just as many parents are not online reading everything they can find on adoption as are.There are hundreds and hundreds and hundreds of parents out there who have no idea what life is like for a child in an orphanage, and who head overseas to pick up their "China doll" only to be handed a baby who is unresponsive, thin, unable to eat...and on and on and on. While adopting my son last month, I walked several times over to the White Swan to talk to parents, and over and over I spoke with moms and dads who had no clue whatsoever about the issues their kids were having. I heard so many times things like, "she won't eat solid foods" (oral aversion), "she has no muscle tone" (muscle atrophy from lying in a crib all day), "she won't smile" (pure grieving from being taken from her foster mom).

I guess since I live China 24/7, I assume everyone adopting does, too, which is not the case. Babies can have issues with attachment, motor skills, emotional issues and more. While also acknowledging that all children (whether bio or not) can have these same issues. Living in an orphanage of course increases the odds. Again, I am often surprised to talk to parents leaving soon and to realize they are not prepared. One family was adopting from our foster care program, and when I told them that the child was DEEPLY attached to the mom, the father said, "guess she might cry for an hour or so then?" An hour or so? She had been in foster care for over a year! I tried to explain that this little girl was about ready to lose everything she had ever known, and that they should not expect her to be sunny, happy, and full of personality after an hour. I told them to please remember the 72 hour rule.......that after 72 hours they would probably see her spark, but that she would probably grieve for a long time after that as well.

I think for many adoptive parents, they just don't want to read the "bad stuff", and so I do think that ultimately it is the parents who are at fault for not doing more to educate themselves. There certainly are books galore out there about post-institutional issues. I now encourage every family I meet to read the harder ones as well, because if you are the family who is handed a child that is limp and listless and who looks autistic, what you have learned in the past will help you make the right decision for your family during those very emotional first few days.

I remember feeling so alone when I was handed my daughter and she was so tiny and limp. Because our foundation often helps with the kids who have been disrupted, I am aware that sometimes there are children who have much more serious issues than originally reported...and that is such a hard thing for a parent to get to China and then discover their child is truly autistic or has serious mental delays. I think everyone on both the China and international side would agree that it is absolutely wrong of an orphanage to not be honest in their reports, and no one would excuse that, but I also know without a doubt that the majority of kids who are disrupted are just suffering from institutional issues and would catch up quickly in a loving home.

It is always a very sad day for the orphanage and everyone involved when a child that they know is absolutely fine, but perhaps thin and grieving, is returned by their new parents for being "delayed".I think far too many people believe their child's life is going to begin the moment they meet them. The truth is, and everyone must realize it...a child's life is going on RIGHT NOW in China, and all of their experiences are shaping who they are. The vast majority of aunties that I have met in China are such kind and caring people, but it absolutely is not the same as having a mom and dad at your beck and call. I have had new parents call and say "we didn't think living in an orphanage would affect her at all", and those statements truly puzzle me. How could they not contemplate life in an orphanage? Walk through Babies R Us and you will see every gadget known to man to make our children's lives here as ideal as possible. Now Americans have two way video monitors, so that when baby awakens not only can mommy see when to immediately rush in and comfort him, but she can talk to baby so that he doesn't even have one single second where he feels alone. How many new parents would have a newborn and then put that baby in a crib 22 hours a day on their own? How many would only feed their baby, even if they were really crying hard, every 8 hours? Or prop the bottle in her crib and then not watch to see if she ever really ate? Of course no one would do that...we feed newborns on demand, comfort on demand, love continuously…and whether people want to recognize it or not, that is NOT the life of an orphan in an institution...even when the aunties are as good as gold.

I remember one night when I took some volunteers in for the night shift in an orphanage, when normally just a few aunties are working. One mom looked at me with tears in her eyes as she slowly realized that it was absolutely impossible with just two hands to feed every child, to comfort every child, to soothe every baby who was crying. She said her heart was aching to realize that her own daughter most likely had many, many times where she cried without someone to comfort her.....and she told me that for the first time she finally understood why her daughter had such a deep seated fear of being out of her mom's sight. The aunties are trying their absolute best, but that doesn't equal mother/child care.

I remember being in an orphanage in the north this past winter and the aunties were so proud of how they had 6-8 layers of clothes and blankets on every baby to keep them warm. They were swaddled so tight that they couldn't move, but it was freezing in the orphanage and so the aunties wanted the babies to stay as warm as possible. What alternative did they have? It really was freezing there...I was cold in my wool coat, so the babies couldn't be up and about with just 1-2 layers on, with the ability to move their arms and legs. To stay warm they had to be immobile, and so of course all of those kids have weak muscle tone. But the aunties were truly trying their best, and when a parent is given one of those beautiful children on adoption day, I am sure they will go back to their room with concern and say "she can't sit up by herself...she can't put weight on her legs". That is absolutely the truth, but she also survived 10 degree weather in a very cold province and she will catch up soon enough with parents to encourage her.

To not acknowledge that living in orphanage circumstances can cause lower body weights, low muscle tone, inability to make good eye contact is very sad to me. Can it be overcome? Most definitely! The one thing I have learned over and over again about the kids in China is that they are fighters and survivors. But for some reason, people seem to want to ignore these issues in public forums. Educate new parents on what to expect in China. By helping them be better prepared, we just might help stop a disruption in the future. I love Chinese adoption with my whole heart, and it is my life's work…but I also want every family who goes to get their baby to go with their eyes open and to be as emotionally prepared as possible, for the child's sake.

Amy Eldrige

Referrals

This was posted on our agencies web-site on June 22, 2006.

"The CCAA has finished the placement of children for the families whose adoption application documents were registered with our office between June 15 - 27, 2005."

"The CCAA has been saying for some time that they have been receiving record numbers of dossiers. In the US Senate subcommittee hearing on Asian Adoptions from several weeks ago, one of the speakers talked about their recent visit to the CCAA and that the CCAA told him that they received 2,000 dossiers in October of 2005 alone."

I Chose You

I chose you to fill my days with a more meaningful purpose.
I chose you because I believe every child should have a loving family.
I chose you because the love of family is meant to be shared.
I chose you because I wanted the extra love that you would bring.
I chose you because I believe that my path always pointed toward you.
I chose you because I believed that we would be stronger together.
I chose you because I wanted to be the one to show you a love.
I chose you because being a parent is what I enjoy most.
I chose you because I was led to you...because you needed a loving family, and mine needed you.

From the book "Why I Chose You by Gregory E. Lang"

Chinese Orphanage

Look at these cribs... no mattress... ouch! I thought this might give you some idea of what an orphanage is like in China. Not all babies are in orphanages, some are in foster care. We will find out when we get our referral whether our daughter was in foster care or an orphanage. I hope for her sake she will be in foster care. But, wherever she is right now it doesn't matter we will love her very much. We can't wait to go over to China to bring our baby home. Who knows maybe one of these babies is ours. Colette

Baby waiting for her family....

This picture was taken a few days ago at an orphanage in China. Seeing this picture makes me want to go to China right now and get my daughter. It breaks my heart to see these babies in these cribs. Colette

Papa & Nana

I thought I would post a picture of my parents. This was taken a few months before my dad died. It was at a Husker funtion in Lincoln. My parents are big Husker fans and have season tickets to the football games. I have fond memories of tail gating before the games with my parents.

Colette

Papa's Baby Picture

Someone Missing......... Papa

One year ago today my dad went into the hospital. I was out-side planting cucumbers in my garden when I got the call. At first they didn't think it was necessary for me to be there. I was told not to talk with my dad on the phone because he was in a lot of pain, but I was kept updated by my family. I got a call two days later they were moving my dad to Lincoln, he had pancretitus. We drove to Lincoln to be with my dad. My dad died 3 weeks later on June 1st . All of us kids and my mom held hands and prayed as my dad went to heaven to be with God. My dad was such a religious & kind person that there is no question in my mind he is in heaven. I'm sure Dad was met with open arms by Rachel, Pamela, his parents and friends.

The last time that I seen my dad was Easter when he and my mom were in Tulsa. He was very excited about the adoption. He had asked lots of questions about the process, wanting to know how it all worked. My dad was a wonderful man. I feel truly blessed to be his daughter.

Our baby will never know her Papa, but I feel since my dad died he is watching over her while we are apart, keeping her safe.

Colettte
Proud daughter of LeRoy Mangers

This says it all...........

WE PASSED THE REVIEW ROOM!

Letter from Children's Hope International

Once the CCAA posted that they had completed reviewing all of the September dossiers, I had our Beijing staff visit the CCAA and inquire about all our CHI September 2005 dossiers to insure that everyone was reviewed and approved to be matched. I am happy to report that all our September 2005 families are approved to be matched and have left Department I. I don't like surprises when it comes to our CHI dossiers. I know that everyone is sad that the wait time for referrals has lengthened, but please take a moment to celebrate this little milestone. Ann Tollefson

Note: Our LID is 9/13/05. This is great news that we have passed the review room. What this means is all of our paper work is done correctly and they accept us for parents for a baby from China. Now we just sit back and wait to get our referral.

It is a good day for us... I want to celebrate this step... (it's a big one)!! YEA!!!
Colette

My Dear Child!

My dear child,

I know you've been struggling desperately to hold onto hope for quite some time now, and I'm sorry that lately you've grown weary of waiting.

It pains me to see you holding back tears, your smile intact, in the company of those whose blessings you live out only in dreams. You share their delight but yearn for a joy that's uniquely your own.

I ache when I hear your lonely cries at night, mourning the life you fear may never come. I share your sorrow; I feel your grief. If you could see the plan as I do, you would rest easier, knowing that it will all be worth the wait. My daughter, your day will come.

Until that time, be patient; trust in me. Know that my plan for you (as well as for all mankind) is at work every second of the day. Ultimately, your sorrow will pass, your pain will fade, and your reward will last forever.

Finally, may you find joy in your journey and pleasure in the process, as you watch my plan unfold. I care for you more than you can imagine and only want what's best for you. Commit your cares to me, and your comfort will be complete.

I love you! God

Adoption Terms

In the process we call adoption, there are a lot of terms and abbreviations used. Here is a list to help you decipher what we and other adoptive families maybe talking about.

Dossier -- This is the paperwork that adoptive families spend months (and in our case over 8 months) gathering. Some of the documents include our marriage license, birth certificates, background checks, etc.

DTC (Dossier to China) -- This is the date that the dossier is sent to China by the agency. After this you wait for your LID. Our DTC was 08/04/2005.

LID (Log-in Date) -- This is the date that your dossier is logged in at the CCAA. This date officially begins your waiting period for referral. Our LID was 09/13/2005.

CCAA (China Center for Adoption Affairs) -- This is the official government agency in Beijing, China that oversees China adoptions. They review our dossier and match us to our daughter and then send our referral.

Referral -- The referral is the paperwork that contains our daughters medical information, social history, and most of all her pictures. Once we have reviewed this information we send a LOI to say "yes" to the referral.

LOI (Letter of Intent) -- This is a letter we send to the CCAA saying that we accept the referral. The next wait is for TA.

TA (Travel Authorization) -- After the CCAA receives our LOI, they contact our daughter's SWI and start making the arrangements for us to become a forever family. They then send us the authroization to travel to China. The normal wait between the LOI and receiving TA is 4 weeks. You uaually travel 4 weeks latter.

SWI (Social Welfare Institute) -- This is the place where our daughter has been waiting for her forever family.

CA (Consulate Appointment) -- After receiving our daughter in China, we then go to the U.S. Consulate to get her visa. The CA is the date our paperwork is to be submitted. Once you have your appointment scheduled, our agency tells us the date we need to be in China.

Forever Family Day (sometimes called Gotcha Day) -- This is the day that we have our baby placed in our arms for the first time and we become forever family.

CHI (Children's Hope International) -- This is the agency licensed by the CCAA to translate dossiers and referrals into Chinese or English. They also make our travel arrangements while in China and provide us with an English translator and guide each day to walk us through the Chinese adoption process.

Chinese Orphanages

It is estimated that there are between 50,000 and 100,000 children in Chinese orphanages. 95% of these are girls, many discarded by government buildings or hospitals. Why girls? China greatly discourages population growth and heavily taxes couples for having more than one child. So, if the family wants to carry on its lineage and cannot afford more than one child, the girl will have to go.
So she is picked up and placed in a local orphanage. What's her fate? Illness? Death? Adoption? Human trafficking? Prostitution? You get the picture.

Legacy of an Adopted Child

Once there were TWO WOMEN who never knew each other.
One you do not remeber, the other you call Mother.
Two different lives shaped to make you one.
One became your guiding STAR, The other became your SUN.
The first one gave you LIFE. And the second taught you to LIVE IT.
The first gave you a need for LOVE. The other was there to give it.
One gave you a NATIONALITY. The other gave you a NAME.
One gave you a TALENT. The other gave you AIM.
One gave you emotions. The other calmed your fears.
One saw your first SWEET SMILE. The other dried your tears.
One sought for you a HOME that she could not provide. The other prayed for a CHILD and her hope was not denied.
And now you ask me, through your tears, the age-old question unanswered through the years.
Heredity or Environment, which are you a product of? Neither, my darling, Neither.
Just two different kinds of Love.

Paper Chase!

List of paperwork needed for our agency:

Letter of petition to adopt
Homestudy
I-171H
Birth certificates
Marriage certificate
Medical form for each parent
Financial statement
Employers letter
Non-employment letter
Criminal background check by StateDepartment
Finger prints for each parent
Passports (copies of picture and signature pages)
Photos of prospective parents, home, and family life
Reference letters, 2 from family members 3 from non-family

Bob, Colette, & Megan  

WAITING, WAITING, WAITING.......

I've been told when adopting you have to learn patience and this is something that is often hard for most Americans who want to be in control and want things right away. People have said when you are adopting you need to be patient. You have to be able to let go... to realize that some things will be out of your hands.

You have to put your trust and faith in God!

Rachel Angeline Walker 

Journey to Adoption

JOURNEY to ADOPITON

My husband, Bob and I have been on the journey of our life. It started when we tried to conceive our second child. We started when Megan, our first child turned 3. We wanted them 4 years apart. We tried on our own for a year before going to a doctor. 6 months later she refereed us to an infertility doctor. This was July of 2000. We found out that Bob had a low sperm count and that I had some polyps that needed to be surgically removed. After this we tried artificial insemination. This is when they put the woman on a hormone to have you ovulate. I was put on clomide. After about 10 days on this you are given a trigger shot to release the eggs. Then they put the mans sperm inside of the woman. We only did this one time because of the cost. Insurance didn’t pay anything and you were only given a 20% chance. We continued to try on our own hoping.

At this time in our lives we didn’t consider adoption because of the cost. We just thought there was no way we could afford it. I thought maybe God only wanted us to have one child. I gave away some of Megan’s baby things to friends hoping I would become pregnant. No such luck.
Then in the fall of 2002 Bob came home from work and said that his medical insurance was going to cover 80% of infertility. We were both elated! I met with a fertility doctor in January 2003. This time around when Bob was tested we found out that not only did he have a low sperm count but that his sperm only lived an hour or so. A normal mans sperm lives 24 hours.
We tried artificial insemination 3 times. After that my doctor did a hystroscopy and a loporoscopy. She found out that I had endometrioses and removed it. A month later we tried artificial insemination. To our surprise I was pregnant! We were elated! My doctor had me start taking progesterone to help sustain the pregnancy. A week and a half latter I started cramping and bleeding. I had miscarried. We were broken hearted. I asked my doctor why this happened and she said most likely because of my age, I was 36. We tried another month of insemination with no luck.

Then in October/November of 2003 we did In-vitro Insemination. I became pregnant! We were so excited! I was due August 3rd, 2004. I loved being pregnant! We all wanted this baby so much.I went into premature labor at 22 3/4 weeks. I checked into the hospital, I was dilated to a 4 and was bulging. They tried to get things to go back up so they could put in a curcloge. They put in a catheder because I was unable to get out of bed. They had me on all kinds of drugs and in bed with my head lower then the rest of my body (real fun). They also gave me 2 steroid shots to help the babies’ lungs grow. A few days latter my water broke, so they were unable to put in the curcloge. I was devastated. They then put me flat & took out the catheder. They said as long as I didn’t get an infection I could put off delivering. I was told that I would be in the hospital until I delivered. I continued on magnesium to stop contractions. We were able to do this until late Saturday night. At 23 weeks 5 days, Rachel had dropped into my vagina and would have to come out. She was born at 1:40 a.m. Easter morning. The doctors gave her 20% of survival. This would stay at 20% until she was alive at least one month before they would up her percentage. She weighted 1 pound 2 ounces. Other then her size she was perfect. Nothing was wrong with her.

She did well the first week. She was such a fighter. Then things started getting worse. After the first week she was on the ventilator 100%. Then her body started shutting down, her liver then her heart. She died on Wednesday afternoon at 4:11 p.m. Bob & I arrived 5 minutes after she died. We did get a private room to spend time with her. We held her, talked to her, and kissed her. She was our beautiful baby daughter.

We attempted IVF in August 2004, we had to cancel it half way through because I didn’t produce enough eggs. Then we did IVF in November. I produced enough eggs this time and we went through the whole process, but it didn’t work. We then gave up on fertility treatments. Too much of a roller coaster ride and I needed to get off. We had decided if the fertility didn’t work this time we would look into adoption. This is Rachel’s gift to us. She made us realize how incomplete our family was without another child to share our life with.

We filled all of our paper work out with Catholic Charities for a domestic adoption then met with them in January of 2005. We decided to switch to international adoption after we found out the length of time before we would get a child. We chose China for the length of time and it was the perfect fit for our family. We met with a social worker and had our Home Study in February. We had to have background checks, medical exams, reference letters, finger printing and much more. We were done with all of this and turned in our dossier into China 8/4/05. Our dossier got log into China on 9/13/05. We had to sit back and wait.

I feel Rachel’s presence with me all the time. When I am feeling down as though the day will never come for us to go to China to get our daughter, I think of Rachel and I am given the strength to get through another day. I feel as though Rachel is watching over our daughter in China keeping her safe. Rachel is her special guardian angel.

Colette
Rachel’s proud mother
4/11/04 – 4/21/04