This was taken this summer in Nebraska. It was a hot, hot day and we were cooling off in the water! We were back in Nebraska for a week visiting Colette's family. In the picture is Bob, Colette, Megan, & Colette's brother Steve!
Saturday, September 02, 2006
Relaxing....
This was taken this summer in Nebraska. It was a hot, hot day and we were cooling off in the water! We were back in Nebraska for a week visiting Colette's family. In the picture is Bob, Colette, Megan, & Colette's brother Steve!
Referrals
"The CCAA has finished the placement of children for the families whose adoption application documents were registered with our office between July 14 and July 22, 2005." (this was posted on the CCAA web-site)
This is disapointing that they only did 9 days. I hope things pick up. The CCAA office moved a month ago, so I am hoping they will hire more people to help speed up the amount of referrals they send out. Our LID (log in date) is 9/13/05. This means people with LID's from July 23 - September 12 are ahead of us. When we started the adoption process they use to process one whole months worth of LID's each month. That's why we were told when we started the wait time of referral was 6 months after LID. Since January of this year they have slowed down by only referring a few weeks to only one week each month.
So, if they go back to processing a month at a time. We could get our referral as soon as the end of October.... which I really doubt.... but it is possible. My guess is we will get our referral in December and travel in February. I hate to even guess anymore. Only time will tell.
Colette
This is disapointing that they only did 9 days. I hope things pick up. The CCAA office moved a month ago, so I am hoping they will hire more people to help speed up the amount of referrals they send out. Our LID (log in date) is 9/13/05. This means people with LID's from July 23 - September 12 are ahead of us. When we started the adoption process they use to process one whole months worth of LID's each month. That's why we were told when we started the wait time of referral was 6 months after LID. Since January of this year they have slowed down by only referring a few weeks to only one week each month.
So, if they go back to processing a month at a time. We could get our referral as soon as the end of October.... which I really doubt.... but it is possible. My guess is we will get our referral in December and travel in February. I hate to even guess anymore. Only time will tell.
Colette
Monday, August 14, 2006
Things to know about China and the adoption process.
Size
China is made up of 1.2 billion people, the largest population in the world, one fifth of the total. Every year the country adds another 12 million. However china has only 7% of the worlds arable land and fresh water, 3% of the forests, and only 2% of the oil. And although China's landmass is roughly the same size as the United States, it has 4.5 times the population. In addition, China's enormous population is unevenly distributed with 94% living in the southeastern part of the country. (In the U.S. this distribution would translate to nearly 1 billion people living east of the Mississippi River).
What is the One Child Policy
In 1979, China implemented a "one child policy" in an effort to control population growth. Under this program, a sophisticated system rewarded those who observed the policy and penalized those who did not. Couples with only one child were given a "one child certificate" entitling them to such benefits as cash bonuses, longer maternity leave, better childcare, and preferential housing assignments. In return they were required to pledge they would not have more children. The penalties for having more than one child are severe if discovered and can consist of being fined a years wages, the loss of their job, imprisonment and social ostracism. Forced abortion and sterilization have been a common practice to eliminate unwanted pregnancies or a baby girl.
Why so many Girls?
We have been told that 95% of babies adopted from China are girls. Why are there so many little girls? China is primarly an agricultural country. These people work and they work hard, for little pay. Therefore there is a need for men and boys. Cultural practice also plays in on this. Sons stay home and take care of aging parents and carry on the family name and farm. As a chinese girl grows up and marries, she leaves to move in with her husband and his family.
What do they do with their babies?
For most of China, it is illegal to give birth to a second child. It is also illegal to abandon a child. I have wondered if these mothers are hoping for 9 months that this will be a boy, or that by some miracle the law will change and they will be able to keep their child regardless. When the baby is born they are forced to abandon their child anonymously. Birthmothers normally leave their baby girls in a place they know she will be found and taken care of, like a busy public market, or on the steps of the orphanage. Sometimes maybe a note will be left with her birthdate. Most of the time there is nothing of her past. She will be taken into the orphanage, they will determine how old they think she might be and they will name her.
Health of Children
From everything we have read, most of the chinese babies are very healthy. Since most of the mothers live on rural farms, they are not exposed to drugs and alcohol. Most of the children are raised in an orphange although there are a small percent in foster homes. We do expect that our baby might be developmentally behind from lack of stimulation, but have no doubt that she will catch up quickly once she is surrounded in love with one on one attention.
Meeting our Baby
Once we receive our referral, we will give our acceptance and then we will travel to China about 8 weeks later. We will be gone for about 2 weeks. There is a chance of 3 weeks if we get one particular orphange. We will first fly to Beijing for some sightseeing. About 2 or 3 days later we will travel to meet our baby near her orphanage. We will finish some paperwork there and then fly to Guangzhou which is where the US Consulate is. More paperwork, medical exams, application for her visa, passport etc... We understand when we first meet our daughter that it may not go as smoothly as we hope. She is going to be with strange people, who look different and sound different than what she is use to. When we return home, we realize that there is going to be big adjustments for our baby. We have read that many of the babies might have problems with bonding, and we are prepared to deal with whatever comes our way. One complaint I hear often from adoptive parents is that people often ask, in front of their children, "what did their real mom look like?" People need to realize that we are her real family and will always be. Our belief is that God planned for her to be our daughter all along, he just wanted her to come from someone else's stomach. To us she is already a part of our family, our daughter.
China is made up of 1.2 billion people, the largest population in the world, one fifth of the total. Every year the country adds another 12 million. However china has only 7% of the worlds arable land and fresh water, 3% of the forests, and only 2% of the oil. And although China's landmass is roughly the same size as the United States, it has 4.5 times the population. In addition, China's enormous population is unevenly distributed with 94% living in the southeastern part of the country. (In the U.S. this distribution would translate to nearly 1 billion people living east of the Mississippi River).
What is the One Child Policy
In 1979, China implemented a "one child policy" in an effort to control population growth. Under this program, a sophisticated system rewarded those who observed the policy and penalized those who did not. Couples with only one child were given a "one child certificate" entitling them to such benefits as cash bonuses, longer maternity leave, better childcare, and preferential housing assignments. In return they were required to pledge they would not have more children. The penalties for having more than one child are severe if discovered and can consist of being fined a years wages, the loss of their job, imprisonment and social ostracism. Forced abortion and sterilization have been a common practice to eliminate unwanted pregnancies or a baby girl.
Why so many Girls?
We have been told that 95% of babies adopted from China are girls. Why are there so many little girls? China is primarly an agricultural country. These people work and they work hard, for little pay. Therefore there is a need for men and boys. Cultural practice also plays in on this. Sons stay home and take care of aging parents and carry on the family name and farm. As a chinese girl grows up and marries, she leaves to move in with her husband and his family.
What do they do with their babies?
For most of China, it is illegal to give birth to a second child. It is also illegal to abandon a child. I have wondered if these mothers are hoping for 9 months that this will be a boy, or that by some miracle the law will change and they will be able to keep their child regardless. When the baby is born they are forced to abandon their child anonymously. Birthmothers normally leave their baby girls in a place they know she will be found and taken care of, like a busy public market, or on the steps of the orphanage. Sometimes maybe a note will be left with her birthdate. Most of the time there is nothing of her past. She will be taken into the orphanage, they will determine how old they think she might be and they will name her.
Health of Children
From everything we have read, most of the chinese babies are very healthy. Since most of the mothers live on rural farms, they are not exposed to drugs and alcohol. Most of the children are raised in an orphange although there are a small percent in foster homes. We do expect that our baby might be developmentally behind from lack of stimulation, but have no doubt that she will catch up quickly once she is surrounded in love with one on one attention.
Meeting our Baby
Once we receive our referral, we will give our acceptance and then we will travel to China about 8 weeks later. We will be gone for about 2 weeks. There is a chance of 3 weeks if we get one particular orphange. We will first fly to Beijing for some sightseeing. About 2 or 3 days later we will travel to meet our baby near her orphanage. We will finish some paperwork there and then fly to Guangzhou which is where the US Consulate is. More paperwork, medical exams, application for her visa, passport etc... We understand when we first meet our daughter that it may not go as smoothly as we hope. She is going to be with strange people, who look different and sound different than what she is use to. When we return home, we realize that there is going to be big adjustments for our baby. We have read that many of the babies might have problems with bonding, and we are prepared to deal with whatever comes our way. One complaint I hear often from adoptive parents is that people often ask, in front of their children, "what did their real mom look like?" People need to realize that we are her real family and will always be. Our belief is that God planned for her to be our daughter all along, he just wanted her to come from someone else's stomach. To us she is already a part of our family, our daughter.
Tuesday, August 01, 2006
"Love without Boundaries"
This is a letter from Amy Eldrige on her view on disrupting an adoption. I felt this was a great way to share with family and friends who might think that adopting an institutionalized child is the same as having a biological child.
I have been so saddened by this situation. I most definitely wish there was a way to educate ALL adoptive parents about the truths of institutional care, however I have come to realize in my daily work that just as many parents are not online reading everything they can find on adoption as are.There are hundreds and hundreds and hundreds of parents out there who have no idea what life is like for a child in an orphanage, and who head overseas to pick up their "China doll" only to be handed a baby who is unresponsive, thin, unable to eat...and on and on and on. While adopting my son last month, I walked several times over to the White Swan to talk to parents, and over and over I spoke with moms and dads who had no clue whatsoever about the issues their kids were having. I heard so many times things like, "she won't eat solid foods" (oral aversion), "she has no muscle tone" (muscle atrophy from lying in a crib all day), "she won't smile" (pure grieving from being taken from her foster mom).
I guess since I live China 24/7, I assume everyone adopting does, too, which is not the case. Babies can have issues with attachment, motor skills, emotional issues and more. While also acknowledging that all children (whether bio or not) can have these same issues. Living in an orphanage of course increases the odds. Again, I am often surprised to talk to parents leaving soon and to realize they are not prepared. One family was adopting from our foster care program, and when I told them that the child was DEEPLY attached to the mom, the father said, "guess she might cry for an hour or so then?" An hour or so? She had been in foster care for over a year! I tried to explain that this little girl was about ready to lose everything she had ever known, and that they should not expect her to be sunny, happy, and full of personality after an hour. I told them to please remember the 72 hour rule.......that after 72 hours they would probably see her spark, but that she would probably grieve for a long time after that as well.
I think for many adoptive parents, they just don't want to read the "bad stuff", and so I do think that ultimately it is the parents who are at fault for not doing more to educate themselves. There certainly are books galore out there about post-institutional issues. I now encourage every family I meet to read the harder ones as well, because if you are the family who is handed a child that is limp and listless and who looks autistic, what you have learned in the past will help you make the right decision for your family during those very emotional first few days.
I remember feeling so alone when I was handed my daughter and she was so tiny and limp. Because our foundation often helps with the kids who have been disrupted, I am aware that sometimes there are children who have much more serious issues than originally reported...and that is such a hard thing for a parent to get to China and then discover their child is truly autistic or has serious mental delays. I think everyone on both the China and international side would agree that it is absolutely wrong of an orphanage to not be honest in their reports, and no one would excuse that, but I also know without a doubt that the majority of kids who are disrupted are just suffering from institutional issues and would catch up quickly in a loving home.
It is always a very sad day for the orphanage and everyone involved when a child that they know is absolutely fine, but perhaps thin and grieving, is returned by their new parents for being "delayed".I think far too many people believe their child's life is going to begin the moment they meet them. The truth is, and everyone must realize it...a child's life is going on RIGHT NOW in China, and all of their experiences are shaping who they are. The vast majority of aunties that I have met in China are such kind and caring people, but it absolutely is not the same as having a mom and dad at your beck and call. I have had new parents call and say "we didn't think living in an orphanage would affect her at all", and those statements truly puzzle me. How could they not contemplate life in an orphanage? Walk through Babies R Us and you will see every gadget known to man to make our children's lives here as ideal as possible. Now Americans have two way video monitors, so that when baby awakens not only can mommy see when to immediately rush in and comfort him, but she can talk to baby so that he doesn't even have one single second where he feels alone. How many new parents would have a newborn and then put that baby in a crib 22 hours a day on their own? How many would only feed their baby, even if they were really crying hard, every 8 hours? Or prop the bottle in her crib and then not watch to see if she ever really ate? Of course no one would do that...we feed newborns on demand, comfort on demand, love continuously…and whether people want to recognize it or not, that is NOT the life of an orphan in an institution...even when the aunties are as good as gold.
I remember one night when I took some volunteers in for the night shift in an orphanage, when normally just a few aunties are working. One mom looked at me with tears in her eyes as she slowly realized that it was absolutely impossible with just two hands to feed every child, to comfort every child, to soothe every baby who was crying. She said her heart was aching to realize that her own daughter most likely had many, many times where she cried without someone to comfort her.....and she told me that for the first time she finally understood why her daughter had such a deep seated fear of being out of her mom's sight. The aunties are trying their absolute best, but that doesn't equal mother/child care.
I remember being in an orphanage in the north this past winter and the aunties were so proud of how they had 6-8 layers of clothes and blankets on every baby to keep them warm. They were swaddled so tight that they couldn't move, but it was freezing in the orphanage and so the aunties wanted the babies to stay as warm as possible. What alternative did they have? It really was freezing there...I was cold in my wool coat, so the babies couldn't be up and about with just 1-2 layers on, with the ability to move their arms and legs. To stay warm they had to be immobile, and so of course all of those kids have weak muscle tone. But the aunties were truly trying their best, and when a parent is given one of those beautiful children on adoption day, I am sure they will go back to their room with concern and say "she can't sit up by herself...she can't put weight on her legs". That is absolutely the truth, but she also survived 10 degree weather in a very cold province and she will catch up soon enough with parents to encourage her.
To not acknowledge that living in orphanage circumstances can cause lower body weights, low muscle tone, inability to make good eye contact is very sad to me. Can it be overcome? Most definitely! The one thing I have learned over and over again about the kids in China is that they are fighters and survivors. But for some reason, people seem to want to ignore these issues in public forums. Educate new parents on what to expect in China. By helping them be better prepared, we just might help stop a disruption in the future. I love Chinese adoption with my whole heart, and it is my life's work…but I also want every family who goes to get their baby to go with their eyes open and to be as emotionally prepared as possible, for the child's sake.
Amy Eldrige
I have been so saddened by this situation. I most definitely wish there was a way to educate ALL adoptive parents about the truths of institutional care, however I have come to realize in my daily work that just as many parents are not online reading everything they can find on adoption as are.There are hundreds and hundreds and hundreds of parents out there who have no idea what life is like for a child in an orphanage, and who head overseas to pick up their "China doll" only to be handed a baby who is unresponsive, thin, unable to eat...and on and on and on. While adopting my son last month, I walked several times over to the White Swan to talk to parents, and over and over I spoke with moms and dads who had no clue whatsoever about the issues their kids were having. I heard so many times things like, "she won't eat solid foods" (oral aversion), "she has no muscle tone" (muscle atrophy from lying in a crib all day), "she won't smile" (pure grieving from being taken from her foster mom).
I guess since I live China 24/7, I assume everyone adopting does, too, which is not the case. Babies can have issues with attachment, motor skills, emotional issues and more. While also acknowledging that all children (whether bio or not) can have these same issues. Living in an orphanage of course increases the odds. Again, I am often surprised to talk to parents leaving soon and to realize they are not prepared. One family was adopting from our foster care program, and when I told them that the child was DEEPLY attached to the mom, the father said, "guess she might cry for an hour or so then?" An hour or so? She had been in foster care for over a year! I tried to explain that this little girl was about ready to lose everything she had ever known, and that they should not expect her to be sunny, happy, and full of personality after an hour. I told them to please remember the 72 hour rule.......that after 72 hours they would probably see her spark, but that she would probably grieve for a long time after that as well.
I think for many adoptive parents, they just don't want to read the "bad stuff", and so I do think that ultimately it is the parents who are at fault for not doing more to educate themselves. There certainly are books galore out there about post-institutional issues. I now encourage every family I meet to read the harder ones as well, because if you are the family who is handed a child that is limp and listless and who looks autistic, what you have learned in the past will help you make the right decision for your family during those very emotional first few days.
I remember feeling so alone when I was handed my daughter and she was so tiny and limp. Because our foundation often helps with the kids who have been disrupted, I am aware that sometimes there are children who have much more serious issues than originally reported...and that is such a hard thing for a parent to get to China and then discover their child is truly autistic or has serious mental delays. I think everyone on both the China and international side would agree that it is absolutely wrong of an orphanage to not be honest in their reports, and no one would excuse that, but I also know without a doubt that the majority of kids who are disrupted are just suffering from institutional issues and would catch up quickly in a loving home.
It is always a very sad day for the orphanage and everyone involved when a child that they know is absolutely fine, but perhaps thin and grieving, is returned by their new parents for being "delayed".I think far too many people believe their child's life is going to begin the moment they meet them. The truth is, and everyone must realize it...a child's life is going on RIGHT NOW in China, and all of their experiences are shaping who they are. The vast majority of aunties that I have met in China are such kind and caring people, but it absolutely is not the same as having a mom and dad at your beck and call. I have had new parents call and say "we didn't think living in an orphanage would affect her at all", and those statements truly puzzle me. How could they not contemplate life in an orphanage? Walk through Babies R Us and you will see every gadget known to man to make our children's lives here as ideal as possible. Now Americans have two way video monitors, so that when baby awakens not only can mommy see when to immediately rush in and comfort him, but she can talk to baby so that he doesn't even have one single second where he feels alone. How many new parents would have a newborn and then put that baby in a crib 22 hours a day on their own? How many would only feed their baby, even if they were really crying hard, every 8 hours? Or prop the bottle in her crib and then not watch to see if she ever really ate? Of course no one would do that...we feed newborns on demand, comfort on demand, love continuously…and whether people want to recognize it or not, that is NOT the life of an orphan in an institution...even when the aunties are as good as gold.
I remember one night when I took some volunteers in for the night shift in an orphanage, when normally just a few aunties are working. One mom looked at me with tears in her eyes as she slowly realized that it was absolutely impossible with just two hands to feed every child, to comfort every child, to soothe every baby who was crying. She said her heart was aching to realize that her own daughter most likely had many, many times where she cried without someone to comfort her.....and she told me that for the first time she finally understood why her daughter had such a deep seated fear of being out of her mom's sight. The aunties are trying their absolute best, but that doesn't equal mother/child care.
I remember being in an orphanage in the north this past winter and the aunties were so proud of how they had 6-8 layers of clothes and blankets on every baby to keep them warm. They were swaddled so tight that they couldn't move, but it was freezing in the orphanage and so the aunties wanted the babies to stay as warm as possible. What alternative did they have? It really was freezing there...I was cold in my wool coat, so the babies couldn't be up and about with just 1-2 layers on, with the ability to move their arms and legs. To stay warm they had to be immobile, and so of course all of those kids have weak muscle tone. But the aunties were truly trying their best, and when a parent is given one of those beautiful children on adoption day, I am sure they will go back to their room with concern and say "she can't sit up by herself...she can't put weight on her legs". That is absolutely the truth, but she also survived 10 degree weather in a very cold province and she will catch up soon enough with parents to encourage her.
To not acknowledge that living in orphanage circumstances can cause lower body weights, low muscle tone, inability to make good eye contact is very sad to me. Can it be overcome? Most definitely! The one thing I have learned over and over again about the kids in China is that they are fighters and survivors. But for some reason, people seem to want to ignore these issues in public forums. Educate new parents on what to expect in China. By helping them be better prepared, we just might help stop a disruption in the future. I love Chinese adoption with my whole heart, and it is my life's work…but I also want every family who goes to get their baby to go with their eyes open and to be as emotionally prepared as possible, for the child's sake.
Amy Eldrige
Thursday, June 29, 2006
Thursday, June 22, 2006
Referrals
This was posted on our agencies web-site on June 22, 2006.
"The CCAA has finished the placement of children for the families whose adoption application documents were registered with our office between June 15 - 27, 2005."
"The CCAA has been saying for some time that they have been receiving record numbers of dossiers. In the US Senate subcommittee hearing on Asian Adoptions from several weeks ago, one of the speakers talked about their recent visit to the CCAA and that the CCAA told him that they received 2,000 dossiers in October of 2005 alone."
"The CCAA has finished the placement of children for the families whose adoption application documents were registered with our office between June 15 - 27, 2005."
"The CCAA has been saying for some time that they have been receiving record numbers of dossiers. In the US Senate subcommittee hearing on Asian Adoptions from several weeks ago, one of the speakers talked about their recent visit to the CCAA and that the CCAA told him that they received 2,000 dossiers in October of 2005 alone."
Friday, May 26, 2006
I Chose You
I chose you to fill my days with a more meaningful purpose.
I chose you because I believe every child should have a loving family.
I chose you because the love of family is meant to be shared.
I chose you because I wanted the extra love that you would bring.
I chose you because I believe that my path always pointed toward you.
I chose you because I believed that we would be stronger together.
I chose you because I wanted to be the one to show you a love.
I chose you because being a parent is what I enjoy most.
I chose you because I was led to you...because you needed a loving family, and mine needed you.
From the book "Why I Chose You by Gregory E. Lang"
I chose you because I believe every child should have a loving family.
I chose you because the love of family is meant to be shared.
I chose you because I wanted the extra love that you would bring.
I chose you because I believe that my path always pointed toward you.
I chose you because I believed that we would be stronger together.
I chose you because I wanted to be the one to show you a love.
I chose you because being a parent is what I enjoy most.
I chose you because I was led to you...because you needed a loving family, and mine needed you.
From the book "Why I Chose You by Gregory E. Lang"
Thursday, May 18, 2006
Chinese Orphanage
Look at these cribs... no mattress... ouch! I thought this might give you some idea of what an orphanage is like in China. Not all babies are in orphanages, some are in foster care. We will find out when we get our referral whether our daughter was in foster care or an orphanage. I hope for her sake she will be in foster care. But, wherever she is right now it doesn't matter we will love her very much. We can't wait to go over to China to bring our baby home. Who knows maybe one of these babies is ours. Colette
Baby waiting for her family....
This picture was taken a few days ago at an orphanage in China. Seeing this picture makes me want to go to China right now and get my daughter. It breaks my heart to see these babies in these cribs. Colette
Thursday, May 11, 2006
Papa & Nana
I thought I would post a picture of my parents. This was taken a few months before my dad died. It was at a Husker funtion in Lincoln. My parents are big Husker fans and have season tickets to the football games. I have fond memories of tail gating before the games with my parents.
Colette
Tuesday, May 09, 2006
Someone Missing......... Papa
One year ago today my dad went into the hospital. I was out-side planting cucumbers in my garden when I got the call. At first they didn't think it was necessary for me to be there. I was told not to talk with my dad on the phone because he was in a lot of pain, but I was kept updated by my family. I got a call two days later they were moving my dad to Lincoln, he had pancretitus. We drove to Lincoln to be with my dad. My dad died 3 weeks later on June 1st . All of us kids and my mom held hands and prayed as my dad went to heaven to be with God. My dad was such a religious & kind person that there is no question in my mind he is in heaven. I'm sure Dad was met with open arms by Rachel, Pamela, his parents and friends.
The last time that I seen my dad was Easter when he and my mom were in Tulsa. He was very excited about the adoption. He had asked lots of questions about the process, wanting to know how it all worked. My dad was a wonderful man. I feel truly blessed to be his daughter.
Our baby will never know her Papa, but I feel since my dad died he is watching over her while we are apart, keeping her safe.
Colettte
Proud daughter of LeRoy Mangers
The last time that I seen my dad was Easter when he and my mom were in Tulsa. He was very excited about the adoption. He had asked lots of questions about the process, wanting to know how it all worked. My dad was a wonderful man. I feel truly blessed to be his daughter.
Our baby will never know her Papa, but I feel since my dad died he is watching over her while we are apart, keeping her safe.
Colettte
Proud daughter of LeRoy Mangers
Friday, April 28, 2006
Thursday, April 27, 2006
WE PASSED THE REVIEW ROOM!
Letter from Children's Hope International
Once the CCAA posted that they had completed reviewing all of the September dossiers, I had our Beijing staff visit the CCAA and inquire about all our CHI September 2005 dossiers to insure that everyone was reviewed and approved to be matched. I am happy to report that all our September 2005 families are approved to be matched and have left Department I. I don't like surprises when it comes to our CHI dossiers. I know that everyone is sad that the wait time for referrals has lengthened, but please take a moment to celebrate this little milestone. Ann Tollefson
Note: Our LID is 9/13/05. This is great news that we have passed the review room. What this means is all of our paper work is done correctly and they accept us for parents for a baby from China. Now we just sit back and wait to get our referral.
It is a good day for us... I want to celebrate this step... (it's a big one)!! YEA!!!
Colette
Once the CCAA posted that they had completed reviewing all of the September dossiers, I had our Beijing staff visit the CCAA and inquire about all our CHI September 2005 dossiers to insure that everyone was reviewed and approved to be matched. I am happy to report that all our September 2005 families are approved to be matched and have left Department I. I don't like surprises when it comes to our CHI dossiers. I know that everyone is sad that the wait time for referrals has lengthened, but please take a moment to celebrate this little milestone. Ann Tollefson
Note: Our LID is 9/13/05. This is great news that we have passed the review room. What this means is all of our paper work is done correctly and they accept us for parents for a baby from China. Now we just sit back and wait to get our referral.
It is a good day for us... I want to celebrate this step... (it's a big one)!! YEA!!!
Colette
Thursday, April 20, 2006
My Dear Child!
My dear child,
I know you've been struggling desperately to hold onto hope for quite some time now, and I'm sorry that lately you've grown weary of waiting.
It pains me to see you holding back tears, your smile intact, in the company of those whose blessings you live out only in dreams. You share their delight but yearn for a joy that's uniquely your own.
I ache when I hear your lonely cries at night, mourning the life you fear may never come. I share your sorrow; I feel your grief. If you could see the plan as I do, you would rest easier, knowing that it will all be worth the wait. My daughter, your day will come.
Until that time, be patient; trust in me. Know that my plan for you (as well as for all mankind) is at work every second of the day. Ultimately, your sorrow will pass, your pain will fade, and your reward will last forever.
Finally, may you find joy in your journey and pleasure in the process, as you watch my plan unfold. I care for you more than you can imagine and only want what's best for you. Commit your cares to me, and your comfort will be complete.
I love you! God
I know you've been struggling desperately to hold onto hope for quite some time now, and I'm sorry that lately you've grown weary of waiting.
It pains me to see you holding back tears, your smile intact, in the company of those whose blessings you live out only in dreams. You share their delight but yearn for a joy that's uniquely your own.
I ache when I hear your lonely cries at night, mourning the life you fear may never come. I share your sorrow; I feel your grief. If you could see the plan as I do, you would rest easier, knowing that it will all be worth the wait. My daughter, your day will come.
Until that time, be patient; trust in me. Know that my plan for you (as well as for all mankind) is at work every second of the day. Ultimately, your sorrow will pass, your pain will fade, and your reward will last forever.
Finally, may you find joy in your journey and pleasure in the process, as you watch my plan unfold. I care for you more than you can imagine and only want what's best for you. Commit your cares to me, and your comfort will be complete.
I love you! God
Wednesday, March 29, 2006
Adoption Terms
In the process we call adoption, there are a lot of terms and abbreviations used. Here is a list to help you decipher what we and other adoptive families maybe talking about.
Dossier -- This is the paperwork that adoptive families spend months (and in our case over 8 months) gathering. Some of the documents include our marriage license, birth certificates, background checks, etc.
DTC (Dossier to China) -- This is the date that the dossier is sent to China by the agency. After this you wait for your LID. Our DTC was 08/04/2005.
LID (Log-in Date) -- This is the date that your dossier is logged in at the CCAA. This date officially begins your waiting period for referral. Our LID was 09/13/2005.
CCAA (China Center for Adoption Affairs) -- This is the official government agency in Beijing, China that oversees China adoptions. They review our dossier and match us to our daughter and then send our referral.
Referral -- The referral is the paperwork that contains our daughters medical information, social history, and most of all her pictures. Once we have reviewed this information we send a LOI to say "yes" to the referral.
LOI (Letter of Intent) -- This is a letter we send to the CCAA saying that we accept the referral. The next wait is for TA.
TA (Travel Authorization) -- After the CCAA receives our LOI, they contact our daughter's SWI and start making the arrangements for us to become a forever family. They then send us the authroization to travel to China. The normal wait between the LOI and receiving TA is 4 weeks. You uaually travel 4 weeks latter.
SWI (Social Welfare Institute) -- This is the place where our daughter has been waiting for her forever family.
CA (Consulate Appointment) -- After receiving our daughter in China, we then go to the U.S. Consulate to get her visa. The CA is the date our paperwork is to be submitted. Once you have your appointment scheduled, our agency tells us the date we need to be in China.
Forever Family Day (sometimes called Gotcha Day) -- This is the day that we have our baby placed in our arms for the first time and we become forever family.
CHI (Children's Hope International) -- This is the agency licensed by the CCAA to translate dossiers and referrals into Chinese or English. They also make our travel arrangements while in China and provide us with an English translator and guide each day to walk us through the Chinese adoption process.
Dossier -- This is the paperwork that adoptive families spend months (and in our case over 8 months) gathering. Some of the documents include our marriage license, birth certificates, background checks, etc.
DTC (Dossier to China) -- This is the date that the dossier is sent to China by the agency. After this you wait for your LID. Our DTC was 08/04/2005.
LID (Log-in Date) -- This is the date that your dossier is logged in at the CCAA. This date officially begins your waiting period for referral. Our LID was 09/13/2005.
CCAA (China Center for Adoption Affairs) -- This is the official government agency in Beijing, China that oversees China adoptions. They review our dossier and match us to our daughter and then send our referral.
Referral -- The referral is the paperwork that contains our daughters medical information, social history, and most of all her pictures. Once we have reviewed this information we send a LOI to say "yes" to the referral.
LOI (Letter of Intent) -- This is a letter we send to the CCAA saying that we accept the referral. The next wait is for TA.
TA (Travel Authorization) -- After the CCAA receives our LOI, they contact our daughter's SWI and start making the arrangements for us to become a forever family. They then send us the authroization to travel to China. The normal wait between the LOI and receiving TA is 4 weeks. You uaually travel 4 weeks latter.
SWI (Social Welfare Institute) -- This is the place where our daughter has been waiting for her forever family.
CA (Consulate Appointment) -- After receiving our daughter in China, we then go to the U.S. Consulate to get her visa. The CA is the date our paperwork is to be submitted. Once you have your appointment scheduled, our agency tells us the date we need to be in China.
Forever Family Day (sometimes called Gotcha Day) -- This is the day that we have our baby placed in our arms for the first time and we become forever family.
CHI (Children's Hope International) -- This is the agency licensed by the CCAA to translate dossiers and referrals into Chinese or English. They also make our travel arrangements while in China and provide us with an English translator and guide each day to walk us through the Chinese adoption process.
Tuesday, March 07, 2006
Chinese Orphanages
It is estimated that there are between 50,000 and 100,000 children in Chinese orphanages. 95% of these are girls, many discarded by government buildings or hospitals. Why girls? China greatly discourages population growth and heavily taxes couples for having more than one child. So, if the family wants to carry on its lineage and cannot afford more than one child, the girl will have to go.
So she is picked up and placed in a local orphanage. What's her fate? Illness? Death? Adoption? Human trafficking? Prostitution? You get the picture.
So she is picked up and placed in a local orphanage. What's her fate? Illness? Death? Adoption? Human trafficking? Prostitution? You get the picture.
Monday, March 06, 2006
Legacy of an Adopted Child
Once there were TWO WOMEN who never knew each other.
One you do not remeber, the other you call Mother.
Two different lives shaped to make you one.
One became your guiding STAR, The other became your SUN.
The first one gave you LIFE. And the second taught you to LIVE IT.
The first gave you a need for LOVE. The other was there to give it.
One gave you a NATIONALITY. The other gave you a NAME.
One gave you a TALENT. The other gave you AIM.
One gave you emotions. The other calmed your fears.
One saw your first SWEET SMILE. The other dried your tears.
One sought for you a HOME that she could not provide. The other prayed for a CHILD and her hope was not denied.
And now you ask me, through your tears, the age-old question unanswered through the years.
Heredity or Environment, which are you a product of? Neither, my darling, Neither.
Just two different kinds of Love.
One you do not remeber, the other you call Mother.
Two different lives shaped to make you one.
One became your guiding STAR, The other became your SUN.
The first one gave you LIFE. And the second taught you to LIVE IT.
The first gave you a need for LOVE. The other was there to give it.
One gave you a NATIONALITY. The other gave you a NAME.
One gave you a TALENT. The other gave you AIM.
One gave you emotions. The other calmed your fears.
One saw your first SWEET SMILE. The other dried your tears.
One sought for you a HOME that she could not provide. The other prayed for a CHILD and her hope was not denied.
And now you ask me, through your tears, the age-old question unanswered through the years.
Heredity or Environment, which are you a product of? Neither, my darling, Neither.
Just two different kinds of Love.
Sunday, March 05, 2006
Paper Chase!
List of paperwork needed for our agency:
Letter of petition to adopt
Homestudy
I-171H
Birth certificates
Marriage certificate
Medical form for each parent
Financial statement
Employers letter
Non-employment letter
Criminal background check by StateDepartment
Finger prints for each parent
Passports (copies of picture and signature pages)
Photos of prospective parents, home, and family life
Reference letters, 2 from family members 3 from non-family
Letter of petition to adopt
Homestudy
I-171H
Birth certificates
Marriage certificate
Medical form for each parent
Financial statement
Employers letter
Non-employment letter
Criminal background check by StateDepartment
Finger prints for each parent
Passports (copies of picture and signature pages)
Photos of prospective parents, home, and family life
Reference letters, 2 from family members 3 from non-family
Friday, March 03, 2006
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