Journey to Adoption

JOURNEY to ADOPITON

My husband, Bob and I have been on the journey of our life. It started when we tried to conceive our second child. We started when Megan, our first child turned 3. We wanted them 4 years apart. We tried on our own for a year before going to a doctor. 6 months later she refereed us to an infertility doctor. This was July of 2000. We found out that Bob had a low sperm count and that I had some polyps that needed to be surgically removed. After this we tried artificial insemination. This is when they put the woman on a hormone to have you ovulate. I was put on clomide. After about 10 days on this you are given a trigger shot to release the eggs. Then they put the mans sperm inside of the woman. We only did this one time because of the cost. Insurance didn’t pay anything and you were only given a 20% chance. We continued to try on our own hoping.

At this time in our lives we didn’t consider adoption because of the cost. We just thought there was no way we could afford it. I thought maybe God only wanted us to have one child. I gave away some of Megan’s baby things to friends hoping I would become pregnant. No such luck.
Then in the fall of 2002 Bob came home from work and said that his medical insurance was going to cover 80% of infertility. We were both elated! I met with a fertility doctor in January 2003. This time around when Bob was tested we found out that not only did he have a low sperm count but that his sperm only lived an hour or so. A normal mans sperm lives 24 hours.
We tried artificial insemination 3 times. After that my doctor did a hystroscopy and a loporoscopy. She found out that I had endometrioses and removed it. A month later we tried artificial insemination. To our surprise I was pregnant! We were elated! My doctor had me start taking progesterone to help sustain the pregnancy. A week and a half latter I started cramping and bleeding. I had miscarried. We were broken hearted. I asked my doctor why this happened and she said most likely because of my age, I was 36. We tried another month of insemination with no luck.

Then in October/November of 2003 we did In-vitro Insemination. I became pregnant! We were so excited! I was due August 3rd, 2004. I loved being pregnant! We all wanted this baby so much.I went into premature labor at 22 3/4 weeks. I checked into the hospital, I was dilated to a 4 and was bulging. They tried to get things to go back up so they could put in a curcloge. They put in a catheder because I was unable to get out of bed. They had me on all kinds of drugs and in bed with my head lower then the rest of my body (real fun). They also gave me 2 steroid shots to help the babies’ lungs grow. A few days latter my water broke, so they were unable to put in the curcloge. I was devastated. They then put me flat & took out the catheder. They said as long as I didn’t get an infection I could put off delivering. I was told that I would be in the hospital until I delivered. I continued on magnesium to stop contractions. We were able to do this until late Saturday night. At 23 weeks 5 days, Rachel had dropped into my vagina and would have to come out. She was born at 1:40 a.m. Easter morning. The doctors gave her 20% of survival. This would stay at 20% until she was alive at least one month before they would up her percentage. She weighted 1 pound 2 ounces. Other then her size she was perfect. Nothing was wrong with her.

She did well the first week. She was such a fighter. Then things started getting worse. After the first week she was on the ventilator 100%. Then her body started shutting down, her liver then her heart. She died on Wednesday afternoon at 4:11 p.m. Bob & I arrived 5 minutes after she died. We did get a private room to spend time with her. We held her, talked to her, and kissed her. She was our beautiful baby daughter.

We attempted IVF in August 2004, we had to cancel it half way through because I didn’t produce enough eggs. Then we did IVF in November. I produced enough eggs this time and we went through the whole process, but it didn’t work. We then gave up on fertility treatments. Too much of a roller coaster ride and I needed to get off. We had decided if the fertility didn’t work this time we would look into adoption. This is Rachel’s gift to us. She made us realize how incomplete our family was without another child to share our life with.

We filled all of our paper work out with Catholic Charities for a domestic adoption then met with them in January of 2005. We decided to switch to international adoption after we found out the length of time before we would get a child. We chose China for the length of time and it was the perfect fit for our family. We met with a social worker and had our Home Study in February. We had to have background checks, medical exams, reference letters, finger printing and much more. We were done with all of this and turned in our dossier into China 8/4/05. Our dossier got log into China on 9/13/05. We had to sit back and wait.

I feel Rachel’s presence with me all the time. When I am feeling down as though the day will never come for us to go to China to get our daughter, I think of Rachel and I am given the strength to get through another day. I feel as though Rachel is watching over our daughter in China keeping her safe. Rachel is her special guardian angel.

Colette
Rachel’s proud mother
4/11/04 – 4/21/04